We completed our 2023 monthly challenges.  We will periodically be posting tips for 2024.  However, all previous challenges are still relevant--go back to read them anytime.   Below are steps to take to change negative behaviors and thoughts, which may be patterns and habits of yours:

Your habits are created as roadmaps in your brain.  These habits cause you to automatically say or do things without thinking.  (Similar to how you automatically drive toward your normal route to work instead of to the stores on the weekends when you are not paying attention).  Quick to anger, quick to judgement, and quick to negative talk and thinking are habits you can change. To change habits, you need to be aware of which habits are impacting you and your love ones negatively.  Once you are able to identify and be honest with yourself,  practice new habits daily to create new pathways in your brain to support your growth.  To break habits and create new habits and brain pathways, do the following:
1) Self-awareness: Learn to recognize when you are angry, judgmental, and/or negative.
2) Once you are aware, take actions to change: If you are too heated, take some time out before communicating with others or taking actions.  If you can't take a time out, take a few deep breaths and talk slow to get your points across without raising your voice or blaming.
3) It will take a few tries before you get it. Practice what works for you every day. Remind yourself to recognize and change those thoughts, behaviors, or words that will hurt you and others. 

We wish you great health and may God bless you and your family.

Proverbs 11:25-27
25 The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped.
26 Curses on those who drive a hard bargain! Blessings on all who play fair and square!
27 The one who seeks good finds delight; the student of evil becomes evil.

Recently, I heard a keynote speaker reminding us to be a blessing to others.  I want to relay the keynote speaker's message, which is highlighted in Proverbs 11:25-27.  Our challenge for the month of September is to "be a blessing to others."  You could be a blessing by showing acts of kindness, compassion, grace, support, and love. You could be a blessing to others by being positive or providing a prayer. The simplest thing such as doing the dishes or saying hi could be a blessing to others.  If you don't know how to be a blessing to others, ask them what they need or look deep inside yourself and see what you need to feel love, safe, and comforted.  Do to others what your soul needs that are respectful and kind.

Do one act of kindness per day this for a whole month and you'll realize the words of the Lord-- "The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped."   In the counseling or psychology field, research are showing that our acts of kindness do make us feel good and be better people.  If you've done daily acts of kindness for a whole month but still feel awful, please come see me.  If you have been a blessing to others for a whole month but doesn't feel blessed, come see me or see our pastors from Freedom Community Church.

May all of you be blessed today, this month, and forever! - Song, Niam Ntxhiaj Looj

As a person, the second most important thing in life is to be healthy.  First to me would be God. Why would you want to be healthy? Health allows you to do anything in life.  The challenge this month is to speed up your heart to maintain your health.

Physical activities can contribute to normal growth and development, reduce the risk of several chronic diseases, and help people function better throughout the day and sleep better at night.  Exercise or physical activities could also boost your positive moods.  So no excuse!  Let’s work on speeding up your heart.   If you can, do the following activities for the month of June (please consult with your medical doctor before attempting, especially those with medical issues):

1. Before you eat every morning or at night, do 3 rounds of 20 sit ups.  I used the bottom of my sofa to hold my toes.  I also have a bench with weights where I can do belly crunches. Then only Eat a small portions of your meal after.       

     2.  Go jogging a mile or 2 every Saturday  morning. I find 8 AM in the morning to be the best time to jog.
     3.  Two hours after dinner everyday, do a 5-10 minute jumping ropes or jumping jacks.  

Rau cov laus thiab cov uas khiav tsis tau, taug kev 1 mais txhua hnub tom qab noj hmo.

Let's start with these or other similar activities.  If you do these 3 activities above for the whole month of June, you might be able to boost your energy and move on to more  intense workouts.  

Disclaimer: Note that we are not aware of your medical needs and are not medical experts.  Make sure you consult with your medical doctor(s), especially before attempting any physical exercise activities on a regular basis or those activities beyond your normal activities.  

​Bible Verse: Ephesians 4: 22-24
“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old
self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the
attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true
righteousness and holiness.”

CHANGING MINDSET (shame-gratitude)
Shame is a universal feeling that can help motive us for self-improvement or destroy our self-worth.  Shame is a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.  To combat shame, focus on gratitude. Gratitude is focusing on what’s good in our lives and being thankful for the things
we have.

This month’s challenge is “to change our mindsets from shame/negativity to
gratitude and positivity.” By doing this, we focus on our cup being half full rather
than half empty. This positive mindset is healthy for our body, mind, and spirit as it
allows us to have grace for ourselves and others.

EXAMPLE
Self (example of shame and negativity):  “I am so overweight.” 
Changed mindset:  “I am glad I do not have an unhealthy relationship with food..”

Others (example of negativity and shaming others): “She’s loud and she talks too much.” 
Changed Mindset: “She has a lot to share because she is passionate about this subject.”

Two places that can give you peace and refuge is your mind and your home.  Your wellness challenge for March and April is to declutter your mind and home.  Get your donation boxes filled with things you don't need or use anymore and be ready for our church yard sale in March and see below on how to do your challenge.  When we declutter our mind and home, we should be thinking of focusing on the present moment and not the past or the future.

Clear your mind/head (take or keep things out of your mind):
1. Find a place (e.g. book, white board, sticky notes) where you can write all your to dos.  Designate a spot on your desk or wall for this to do list so you are not looking all over the place for it.
2. Journal or write down concerns or intrusive thoughts in your head or what you’d like to remember later.
3. If you have to make a decision but feels conflicted or unsure– write it down on your to do list and think about it later.
4. Emails, YouTube, Social Media – all the subscriptions and feeds - minimize them or just don’t log into them (don’t have the app on your phone for easy access).  
5. Reading too much news or social media? – get your head out of the internet and look around you and pay attention to people, places, and things.  To clear your mind sometimes requires you to get out of your head and just enjoy your surroundings.  This works for when you have too much concerns or intrusive thoughts on your mind.

Take a brain or mind break: It is inevitable sometimes not to have things in your head, therefore, let your head rest a bit by taking a break (stop doing and thinking about the concern or project for 10 to 60 minutes) and do one or more of the following:
1. Go for a walk- enjoy the nature around you and feel nature with your five senses.
2. Exercise.
3. Listen to music that calms you.
4. Watch movies that calms you.
5. Spend time with others.
6. Play - sports, games, etc.
7. Meditate or do mindfulness breathing.
8. Declutter/clean your house- one space or room at a time.  When your room is clean, your mind feels less tensed.

Decluttering = better mental health 
Decluttering your head and letting your mind be free of overwhelming thoughts and duties can help you feel more focused and less stressed.  Decluttering your mind will also prevent you from cluttering other people’s mind– when you are stressed, you might say or do something negative that will impact another person, cluttering their mind with something that they have to deal with to bring their emotional equilibrium back.  Research is also finding that a clean or decluttered  room is better for one's mental health.  Therefore, when you declutter your mind and home, you are helping yourself and all those around you.  Again, each person finds peace and maintains wellness in ways that's relevant to them.  Try decluttering to see if it'll help you.

Read more on summary of what research is saying about decluttering: https://bewell.stanford.edu/a-clean-well-lighted-place/

In April, focus on decluttering your home. Focus on today and not yesterday or tomorrow to help with decluttering.
Read more on decluttering and tips to declutter your house: https://www.amadaseniorcare.com/2022/04/letting-go-of-clutter-why-many-seniors-struggle/
Have your boxes of donations ready for the church yard sale in April.

Disclaimer: Always consult with your medical doctors and counselors.  Information on this blog is for educational purposes only.  

Challenge:  For this month, intentionally show kindness to your family members each week.  Make sure each of your family members receive one of your kind acts.  Do it genuinely and do not tell them you are doing it because of a challenge.

Acting kind impacts your mental health positively and most likely it'll impact others positively too.  Your act of kindness should be done without any expectations for rewards or acknowledgements from others.  Examples, although not limited to: Say something kind, make breakfast, wash someone else's dishes, give someone a massage, call or text someone just to say you appreciate them, or do prosocial spending--spend your money on someone else - pay for their meal, buy them flowers, take them to the movies, etc.

On Valentine's Day, be kind to others but don't forget to show kindness and love toward yourself.  You were wonderfully made by God.  KINDNESS IS FREE. SPRINKLE IT EVERYWHERE THIS MONTH AND EVERY MONTH!

Spend time with family. Play with your kids. The goal is just to enjoy each other's presence.
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